Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing

Episode #66: Words F*cking Matter: Change One Word - Change Your Life

This episode of "Words F*cking Matter," is a masterclass in conscious language, radical responsibility, and what it really means to heal and grow one word at a time.
In this bold and unscripted episode, Army Veteran and author Andy Weins drops truth bombs that will challenge everything you think you know about language, healing, and accountability. Andy doesn’t tiptoe around transformation—mid‑show, he flips the script and calls ME out for using his so‑called “sh*t words,” exposing how my language was quietly sabotaging my own growth.
He believes (and proves) that words f*cking matter—words like “if," "but,” “should,” “easy,” “can’t." These might sound harmless, but they carry weight. They limit our choices, muddy our intentions, and keep us stuck in cycles of blame, avoidance, and ego.
If you’ve ever said “I just don’t know how” or “It’s too hard”—this episode is your mirror and your medicine. Bring your notebook, bring your humility, and bring your willingness to grow so you can rewrite your story—one word at a time.
Don’t forget to vote for Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing in Best of Madison – Local Podcast!
🔗 Connect with Andy
🔗 Connect with Andy on LinkedIn 
🔗 Andy's Book: Words F*cking Matter
🔗 Connect with Tami
Show Notes:
00:44 – When my guest flips the script and calls me out on my language
03:21 – Grab your pen and paper—you’re going to want to take notes
04:09 – Quick favor: Vote for Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing for Best of Madison - Local Podcast
05:48 – Meet today’s guest: Andy Weins—speaker, author, entrepreneur, podcaster, and Army Veteran
10:47 – Why Andy makes decisions quickly (and how failing fast leads to better choices)
11:51 – How one word can shift everything + the “Start - Stop - Continue” method for growth
13:54 – Three practical ways to eliminate the word “but” from your vocabulary
17:34 – What “truthful adjustment” means and how to apply it when you fall short
21:02 – Boundaries vs. expectations—and the quote Andy has tattooed on his arm
27:48 – How lack of confidence is often rooted in a wounded inner child
30:35 – The difference between “simple” and “complicated”
31:00 – The OODA Loop: Observe, Orient, Decide, Act + Reflect, Realize, Regulate
35:10 – Breaking down the Savior Complex—how it helps (and hurts)
41:48 – The OAR Model: Ownership, Accountability, Responsibility vs. Blame, Excuses, Denial
48:35 – Why Andy says “truth” is just another sht word—and why “perspective” is more powerful
50:20 – That time I completely froze…on my own podcast
54:10 – Why self-talk matters + the Harvard research to back it up
59:43 – “Sometimes, Always, Never” people—and how to protect your energy
1:02:44 – Specifics vs. details—what’s the difference, and why it matter
1:06:37 – The HALT Method: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
1:11:03 – The 5-5-5 Principle: 5 minutes in the morning, after work, and before bed
1:12:34 – The six most powerful ways to start a sentence
1:14:09 – Helping others label their feelings by mislabeling (yes, you read that right)
1:19:13 – The ultimate “sht word” revealed

Episode #65: When Healing Gets Hijacked: How Self-Abandonment Hurts Us (and Others)

What happens when your ego hijacks your healing? That’s exactly what this week’s episode dives into—with real, raw stories that reveal how emotional growth can get derailed by the very part of us that’s trying to protect our wounds: the Ego. I open up about how not wanting to feel like a burden led me to ignore my body’s needs—and ultimately abandon my Inner Child. The result? A full-blown crash…and a gut-level wake-up call I couldn’t ignore.
I also reflect on moments when my ego took the wheel—deflecting blame, taking things personally, and unintentionally hurting people I care about. This is what it looks like when healing gets hijacked.
But more importantly, this episode is a call to step up as the adult in your Inner Child’s life, especially when the ego wants to run the show. That may mean reaching for tools, support, or resources that were never modeled for you—and choosing to respond in new, grounded ways.
Healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about recognizing when old patterns are in charge, pausing, and making a conscious choice to do things differently—even when it’s hard.
🔗 Join the Roots & Wings Inner Child Program (starts June 5th)
🧁 Shoutout to Sweet Magpie’s Bakery—go treat your inner child!
Show Notes:
6:07 Feeling like a burden as a child
7:49 Roots & Wings: Inner Child Healing program starts June 5th
10:36 Sweet Magpie’s Bakery shoutout
14:58 Stone of the Episode: Larimar - Throat Chakra Activation
17:09 Calling out the Ego
20:28 Suppressed emotions & gut health
30:00 How ego hijacks logic during emotional triggers
33:45 Low blood sugar = body & inner child screaming for care
40:17 Inner child tantrum vs ego deflecting blame
50:18 Ego taking things personally & hurting others
59:30 The importance of asking twice: “How are you really doing?”
1:04:00 Why asking for help is hard and holding space is harder
1:07:50 Knowledge vs emotional maturity
1:11:21 Why we need “training wheels” on the healing journey
Episodes Mentioned: 
#64: When Love Triggers
#63: Unlocking Relationship Dynamics with Christie Bemis
#30: Healing Through Darkness with Erika from Sweet Magpie's Bakery
 

Episode #64: When Love Triggers: Opening Old Wounds to Heal

In this VERY personal episode of Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing, I open up about my new relationship—three months in and already pulling back layers I thought I’d healed.
After 2.5 years of healing alone—separating from a past relationship, parenting, rebuilding, and reconnecting with my inner child—I was finally at a place of peace. Or so I thought.
Then love showed up. Not the fairytale kind. The real kind. The kind that gently (and sometimes not-so-gently) holds up a mirror to the wounds I was still carrying. My abandonment wounds. My people-pleaser. The voice that still whispers, “You’ll never be good enough. You are such a burden.”
This episode is vulnerable and full of reminders that God and the Universe send us the exact people and moments we need—not to break us, but to help us break open.
You’ll hear how I learned to stop projecting my pain, take ownership of my healing in real-time, and finally understand the difference between being a burden…and being a gift.
✨ You are not too much.
✨ You are not broken.
✨ You are worthy of love that sees the real you—and stays!
Chapters
00:00 Embracing Vulnerability and Personal Healing
09:34 The Play of Life: Taking Center Stage
12:14 Characters in Our Healing Journey 17:23 The Power of Inner Child Work
24:47 Triggers as Opportunities for Growth
29:27 Reconnecting with the Inner Child
34:48 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies
39:07 Embracing Masculine and Feminine Energies
44:48 The Power of Asking for Help 52:18 Understanding Burdens and Gifts
58:07 The Role of Inner Child in Healing
01:02:31 Collaborative Healing and Support Systems
Links Mentioned:
Episode Sponsored By: Believe Crew
Roots & Wings: 4 Week Program
Episodes Mentioned:
#63 with Christie: http://youtu.be/fiZqfLTPtSk
#56: Why We Sabotage a Good Thing: https://youtu.be/WYzSmk6Fpq0
#50 with Arlo: https://youtu.be/B1Bka5pVjtM

Episode #63: Unlocking Relationship Dynamics: The Power of Inner Child Work

Whether you're hoping to improve your marriage, deepen your self-awareness, or finally feel safe in love, this episode meets you right where you are. Inner Child Healer Tami Schiltz joins forces with psychotherapist, sex educator, and relationship coach Christie Bemis to unpack the real reasons relationships feel stuck—and how inner child work can unlock lasting connection, communication, and emotional safety.
You’ll learn how childhood patterns sneak into adult relationships, how to identify your adaptive child responses, and why being triggered is actually an invitation to heal—not a red flag.
We also break down Christie’s SPARCS relationship assessment tool (Safety, Play/Pleasure, Attunement, Realized Dreams, Communication, and Sex/Intimacy), and the 5 losing strategies that sabotage connection: withdrawal, retaliation, controlling, needing to be right, and unbridled self-expression.
JOIN OUR UPCOMING PROGRAM:
🌱 Roots & Wings: Healing Your Past, Empowering Your Future (4-week experience) 
📝 Free 10-Point Inner Child Healing Checklist 
🌐 Connect with Christie Bemis
🌐 Connect with Tami Schiltz
Show Notes:
00:00 Introduction and Vulnerability in Conversations
05:05 The Importance of Safety in Relationships
08:00 Key Elements of Healthy Relationships
10:45 Understanding Couples Therapy Dynamics
13:33 The Role of Inner Child Work
15:56 Navigating Triggers in Relationships
18:48 The Adaptive Child and Relationship Dynamics
22:07 Communication and Emotional Safety
24:37 Compassion and Understanding in Relationships
27:44 The Impact of Childhood on Adult Relationships
32:32 Understanding Safety and Sensitivity
35:46 The Impact of Gaslighting on Relationships
40:07 Navigating Emotional Safety in Relationships
43:49 The Importance of Inner Child Work
48:16 Finding Motivation for Inner Child Healing
51:36 Reconnecting with Your Inner Child
55:14 Embracing Sexuality and Aliveness
01:00:44 Creating Meaningful Conversations

Episode #62: From Gains to Growth: How Bodybuilding Sparked Erika’s Healing

Erika and I first crossed paths at the gym, but our real connection came through shared soul work—intuition, signs, healing, and the drive to live life on purpose. In this episode, we dive into Erika’s journey from gym goals to soul goals, and how bodybuilding became a gateway to profound healing (inner child healing)!
Expect honesty, laughter, and spiritual realness as they break down self-prioritization, ego work, the mental health side of fitness, AND the behind-the-scenes of hosting a podcast (she’s the heart behind My Fit Tribe)! 
This conversation is a reminder that healing doesn’t have to look one way, and honoring your journey (and your body) is one of the bravest things you can do.
If this episode speaks to you, please DOWNLOAD, share, subscribe, or consider supporting the podcast so we can keep doing this work. Join the Tami Talks Patreon. 
Want in on some of this shake goodness that has been fueling Tami's body and muscles for the last 10 years?! Here you go! Reach out if you want some recommendations!! 
My Fit Tribe: 
Spotify
Apple Podcast
Instagram
Facebook
Website
Show Notes: 00:00 – How We Met: From gym connection to soul sisters16:48 – Spiritual awakenings & trusting the inner nudge20:00 – Erika’s entry into bodybuilding & what it revealed22:48 – Challenges behind the scenes of transformation25:49 – The art of self-prioritization and keeping promises to yourself28:41 – Navigating relationships during big personal shifts31:59 – Purpose isn't found, it's built34:40 – Building ‘My Fit Tribe’ and why community is everything37:45 – Fitness as a tool for mental clarity & emotional release41:03 – The power of saying yes to change51:50 – Rewriting gym anxiety & taking up space55:12 – When spirituality meets the squat rack56:57 – Recognizing and moving through distractions and fear01:01:24 – Intuition, signs, and embracing spiritual gifts01:06:40 – What it means to grow with grace01:12:00 – Celebrating the collective rise of women01:16:49 – The mission behind Erika’s podcast: My Fit Tribe
 
Episodes Mentioned:
Episode 61 (Brittany)
Episode 56 (Self-Sabotage)
Episode 47: (Let Them)
Episode 46: (Keith - Mental Mountains Project)
 
 
 

Episode #61: Learning to Love Your Mess: Between Breakdowns and Breakthroughs

If you’re somewhere between breaking down and breaking through—this episode is for you!
In this episode of Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing, Tami sits down with her Bestie and Soul Sister, Brittany, to explore the raw, unfiltered journey of emotional growth, midlife transitions, and learning to love our mess. From a dietitian who needed to reset her own health to a counselor who realized she needed therapy, this episode dives into the heart of what it means to release guilt and shame around our stories. Together, Tami and Brittany unpack the emotional layers of midlife "crisis" (or awakening), the freedom in vulnerability, and how true healing begins when we stop trying to fix everything and start feeling everything.
They discuss how to process anger, redefine success, support other women without feeling like a burden, and hold space without becoming the “fixer.” The episode also explores spiritual signs, intuitive nudges, and the importance of safe spaces where hard conversations aren’t just normalized—they’re necessary.
Show Notes:
00:00 Introduction and Connection
07:03 The Importance of Safe Spaces in Relationships
11:05 Releasing guilt + shame around our stories
12:57 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Acceptance
15:53 Anger, midlife crisis & redirecting your life
18:58 Finding Joy Beyond Caregiving
19:24 Redefining success & embracing your own timeline
24:47 Breaking the Cycle of Shame and Abandonment
30:45 Spiritual Connections and Normalizing Vulnerability
36:54 Navigating Emotions and Intuition
44:32 Understanding Triggers and Communication
47:09 Holding space vs. Fixing
52:25 Learning from Missteps and Guilt
55:03 Breaking shame cycles around our bodies
57:49 Embracing the Messiness of Life
Whether you're deep in self-discovery, holding heavy emotions, or just trying to figure things out—this one's for you.
Episodes Mentioned:
Jamie & Kevin: Episode #57
Andrew Episode: Episode #42

Episode #60: 5 Non-Scale Signs You're Healing (Even If It Feels Slow & Messy)

Healing doesn’t show up in big, perfect moments — it’s in the small shifts we almost miss. This week, Tami shares 5 signs you're truly growing, how she prepared herself to feel ALL the feels after her divorce was finalized, plus the story of how a donkey sign, an accidental "ass moment," and her daughter's frustration turned into a real-life lesson in slowing down and repairing with love. 
Whether you're parenting, navigating relationships, or working on your own healing and growth, these non-scale victories show you're changing cycles for yourself — and for those around you.
If you've ever wondered, "Am I actually healing?" — this conversation is for you.
Episodes Mentioned:
Episode #4: Your Inner Child is Blocking Your Weight Loss
Episode #43: Sabotage to Self-Love: Resolutions that Empower, Not Restrict
Episode 58: From Childhood Trauma to Iron Will
Products I Love & Mention:
Hiya Kid's Multivitamins
Grounding Mat
Awesome info on the benefits of Grounding 
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to Healing Journey
08:12 Recognizing Signs of Healing
12:10 Top Signs You Are Healing
14:33 Personal Reflections on Divorce and Healing
17:47 Embracing Emotions
23:08 Choosing Curiosity Over Judgment
26:13 The Arrow Analogy: Trusting the Process
31:27 Finding Wholeness in Healing
36:22 Celebrating Small Victories
39:13 Lessons from Children
45:34 The Importance of Presence
48:21 Navigating Conflict and Apologies
51:07 Understanding Victim Mentality
54:12 Healing Conversations with Children
56:35 Siblings and Emotional Intelligence
01:00:58 The Importance of Emotional Regulation
01:06:08 Embracing a Range of Emotions
01:10:22 Trusting Support in Relationships
01:16:50 Self-Worth and Inner Healing

Episode #59: The 4-Letter F-Word: FEAR (Of Disappointment)

What if disappointing others didn’t mean losing love?
In this episode of Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing, Tami explores the fear of disappointing others—and how it often stems from childhood experiences and a deep belief that love is conditional and can easily be taken away.
From childhood trauma to adult relationships, Tami explores how this fear often roots itself in the belief that disappointment equals a withdrawal of love. Through honest reflections and stories, she sheds light on how people-pleasing behaviors develop, how the ego tries to protect us, and why setting boundaries can feel so emotionally risky.
This episode is an invitation to reconnect with your inner child, speak your truth without guilt, and embrace the idea that disappointing others doesn't make you unlovable—it makes you human.
✨ Ready to explore where this fear might be showing up in your life?Schedule a FREE Discovery Call at www.unscriptedhealingwi.com
Show Notes: 
00:00 Introduction and Gratitude
01:53 Exploring the Fear of Disappointment
04:00 Childhood Roots of Fear
06:59 People-Pleasing and Its Consequences
10:01 Setting Boundaries and Speaking Up
12:53 The Impact of Disappointment on Relationships
15:59 Ego and Self-Abandonment
19:00 Navigating Emotional Discomfort
21:49 The Importance of Clear Communication
24:57 Reconnecting with the Inner Child
27:51 Practicing Disappointment for Growth
30:53 Facing Major Life Decisions
34:04 Healing Generational Patterns
36:50 Conclusion and Call to Action
 

Episode #58: From Childhood Trauma to Iron Will

*Trigger Warning: There is mention of domestic abuse in this episode. 
Episode #58: In this episode of Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing, I sit down with my dear friend Wendy C. Wilson—speaker, coach, and author of Iron Will—to talk about the long road from childhood trauma to deep healing, purpose, and emotional freedom.
Wendy shares how witnessing abuse as a child, walking on eggshells, and struggling with self-worth shaped everything from her relationships to how she showed up at work. We dive into how people-pleasing, silence, and survival mode can follow us into adulthood—and how healing those inner wounds changes everything.
This conversation is raw, real, and full of wisdom about breaking cycles, reclaiming your voice, and trusting the timing of your purpose. If you’ve ever felt like you’re still waiting for clarity, this one will hit home.
You can purchase Wendy's Book: Iron Will on Amazon
Wendy's Website: https://wendycwilson.com/
Show Note:
00:00 Introduction and Meeting Wendy
05:08 Turning Pain into Purpose
09:12 Childhood Trauma and Its Impact
19:13 Breaking the Cycle of Abuse
25:25 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Building Confidence
33:53 The Power of Personal Development and Self-Awareness
44:45 Permission to Feel and Process Emotions
50:55 Finding Purpose Through Pain
59:43 The Impact of Childhood Experiences
01:06:03 Healing Generational Wounds
01:10:53 The Power of Kindness and Gratitude
01:16:21 Coaching and Empowering Others

Episode #57: Rooted in Healing ~ Rising in Vision

Healing the past to expand the vision is at the heart of this episode of Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing. I sit down with Jaime and Kevin White—coaches, healers, and real-deal humans—who know what it’s like to walk through the fire (including a move to an entirely new country) and come out the other side with purpose and clarity.
We unpack the layers of human design, generational patterns, entrepreneurship, and the deeply rooted fear many women carry around being seen. This episode is a powerful reminder that you can’t play big carrying old pain—and that healing the past is often the key to expanding your vision for the future.
From the illusion of money to the freedom of surrender, this conversation invites you to release outdated programming, lean into your intuitive gifts, and finally trust the process—even when there's no proof, only faith. Healing is messy. Growth is sacred. And you’re not meant to do it alone!
Show Notes: 
00:00 Introduction to Personal and Generational Blocks
10:02 The Journey of Alignment and Marriage 2.0
12:45 Understanding Roles in Personal Development
15:10 The Importance of Self-Discovery Tools
18:00 Navigating Triggers in Relationships
20:50 The Intersection of Business and Personal Growth
23:38 Healing and Uncovering Hidden Gifts
26:38 The Value of Spiritual Work and Worthiness
29:04 Generational Issues and Women's Empowerment
36:37 The Evolution of Women's Spirituality
37:57 Embracing the Entrepreneurial Calling
40:00 Understanding Human Design and Intuition
43:30 Navigating Emotional Waves and Decision Making
45:35 The Role of Community in Spiritual Growth
50:35 Trusting Yourself in Entrepreneurship
58:47 The Journey of Relocation and Transformation
01:02:16 Embracing Change and Surrendering to Growth
01:03:48 The Journey of Letting Go
01:06:01 The Importance of Trust and Support
01:07:53 Creating Community and Connection
01:09:11 Immersion Experiences for Personal Growth
01:11:27 Navigating Fear and Expanding Horizons
01:13:18 Finding Safety in Growth
01:16:00 The Power of Relationships and Trusting the Process
Follow & Find Believe Crew
Website
LinkedIn 
Jamie White on Facebook: Jamie White: 
Kevin White on Facebook 
Want to hear more conversations like this? Support the Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing mission by becoming part of the Tami Tribe Patreon!